


Of Boys and Baseball

by harrietspecter



Category: Suits (TV)
Genre: Episode Tag, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-11
Updated: 2012-08-11
Packaged: 2017-11-11 21:45:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/483222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harrietspecter/pseuds/harrietspecter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rewind missing scene. Harvey is dealing how he deals with his father's death. She found him on the baseball diamond with an old baseball.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Boys and Baseball

Jessica had been waiting for Harvey in his office when Donna arrived back at her desk. Noticing the man was not with the woman in her line of vision was odd. They went to dinner together often, but this was too late for dinner. Watching Donna pack up some files, she made her way out of Harvey's office and over to Donna's cubicle.

"Where's Harvey?" Jessica asked.

Donna looked up with wide eyes and instantly Jessica knew something was going on.

"He's at home," Donna said as she looked back down to her desk.

"Spill," Jessica said.

"His dad died," Donna said quietly. She looked around to make sure the other secretaries couldn't hear.

"Oh, God," Jessica said under her breath.

"I was coming back to make sure we had everything done," Donna said.

"How's he doing?" Jessica asked.

"He's dealing how he deals," Donna shrugged.

"Donna," Jessica said pointedly.

"They called here. The hospital or the police. I'm still not sure who I talked to. It was someone official. And I didn't know what to say. I know he doesn't like me to placate so he just made me tell him," Donna sighed. "I've never seen him like that."

"You guys can have all the time off you need," Jessica told her.

"No," Donna shook her head. "He's going to want the familiarity of routine. He's not going to want time off until the funeral. And then he'll want to come right back."

Jessica looked at Donna and watched the younger woman who continued to organise her desk.

"Do you know when its going to be?" Jessica asked.

"Um, no. Not yet. I'll have to call his brother, or have him call his brother. Maybe we'll go over there. He hasn't really said what he wants to do yet," Donna said as she squared some post-its on her desk.

Donna missed the sympathetic look on Jessica's face.

"Did you want something from him?" Donna asked as she felt the older woman's stare.

Jessica looked around at the cubicle of assistants and nodded her head towards Harvey's office. Donna followed warily.

"You figured it out, didn't you?" Jessica said.

Donna flinched slightly as she made her way to Harvey's record collection.

"Whatever Harvey found to ultimately bring Daniel down. It was you," Jessica said as Donna's fingers froze on one of Harvey's records.

"I don't know what you mean," Donna tried.

"Mh, hmm," Jessica nodded. "Don't think I don't know about the network you've been building for the last seven years."

"Am I in trouble?" Donna asked as she turned to face Jessica.

"Quite the opposite in fact. I need people with valuable networks", Jessica gave her a small smile. "And a partner who has my back definitely needs a good assistant who can keep him in line and find blackmail on anyone, if need be."

"Wait," Donna said as her eyebrows rose. "Is Harvey getting promoted?"

"It's about time," Jessica said. "Plus, I promised the promotion if he found who did it. And although you found the blackmail, I can't really promote you because Harvey would never let you go without a fight. But I can give your boss a promotion and salary bump he'd willingly share with you."

"Junior partner," Donna smiled to herself.

"I'd like to tell him tomorrow," Jessica said, not missing the smile pass across Donna's face.

"Your secret's safe with me," Donna nodded.

"I trust you'll make sure he's okay," Jessica said more than asked.

"Going to see him as soon as I get out of here," Donna nodded. She didn't need to tell the founding, now managing, partner that she'd go home and change out of her clothes before attempting to talk to Harvey. After all, with her luck, he'd probably have his phone off.

\--

She watched him from afar. She had parked down the street for a reason. She definitely didn't want to spook him and make him create the wall over his emotions again. And her cat-like skills of quiet stalking were playing to her advantage. As he ducked to pick up the balls, she took the opportunity to move to the fence separating the baseball diamond from the bleachers.

"Hi," she said with a half smile.

He looked up and then continued to pick up the baseballs from the ground, essentially ignoring her.

Her fingers looped through the diamond shaped holes in the chain link as she leaned against the wood that made up the rest of the fence. She never really understood why it was there. Someone had told her it was to catch the balls if the pitcher threw a crazy one… stop the force or something science-y. She wasn't into baseball. She was more interested in football. But when Harvey took her to the games, she'd at least always laugh at how riled up he got when his team was down.

"How'd you find me?" he asked as he finally acknowledged her presence.

"Ray, actually," Donna said. "He was a little miffed that you wanted to be left alone, out here in the dark. He called me and said you might not want to be here alone."

"I'm not in the dark," Harvey said as he pointed to the stadium lighting.

"But you are alone," Donna said.

"You're here," Harvey countered.

"I am," she nodded as he looked over at her. Their eyes held for a moment before she looked away.

"How are you doing?" she asked as he made his way back to the pitchers mound.

He set his bucket of balls on the ground and shrugged his shoulders.

Realising he wasn't up to talking yet, she curled her fingers tighter in the chain link. She'd wait him out like she always did. Even though this event had never occurred before, she knew how he dealt with loss. Or at least the loss of a case. She figured he'd go through at least some of the same range of emotions after losing his dad. Maybe a little more. If she were being honest with herself, she had no idea what she was doing. But she'd roll with Harvey's emotions. She'd gone through seven years with him already, so at least she had him down pat.

She watched as he threw the balls one by one at the wood and chain link fence she was leaning against. She never flinched as he lobbed the balls harder than he should have at the barrier between them. The sound of the ball hitting the wood with a loud pop was the only thing that sounded between them.

When he made to repeat what she had first caught him doing, she brought out the bottle from her bag she still had slung over her shoulder. She tapped it against the chain link and watched as he looked up. He dropped his task and looked at the bottle with a critical eye.

"That's his favourite," he said as he moved back over to the balls.

"It's why I took it from my liquor cabinet at home," she said. "Your dad is the only guy I know who drinks this particular age and only this age. Never met a man so stubborn about his single malt."

"You could get arrested for having an open bottle," Harvey pointed out.

"Luckily it's not open. And if it is opened and we get caught, I know a good lawyer," she said.

She waited in silence as he gathered all the balls and then turned to her with a look.

"You coming out here or is your outfit too precious to get ruined?" Harvey asked.

"I'm not the one who acts like a girl when someone touches me with a suit less expensive than mine," she pointed out as she moved around to the open fence near the dugout.

\--

When she made it onto the dirt diamond, she shuffled from foot to foot as he placed the balls on the mound again. She watched as he took a single ball from the pile and lobbed it in the air before looking pointedly at her.

"I'm not going to hit you," Harvey said. "At least not on purpose."

"That really assures me," Donna said as she walked over to the pitchers mound. She handed him the bottle and he took it with his free hand, watching as she brought out two tumblers out of her bag.

"Classy," Harvey noted with a hint of sarcasm.

"I debated shot glasses but figured this might be easier," Donna shrugged.

She shrugged her bag to the dirt below. Glad she chose this one, knowing it was easy to wash the dirt from the canvas material.

"You gonna make sure we stay out of jail before I promise to share this?" she asked.

"I promise nothing will go on your perfect record," Harvey said. "But if its a dick cop, I promise nothing."

"Good to know I can use my feminine wiles if it comes to that," Donna smirked.

Harvey smiled in the corner of his mouth and looked at her outfit. He wasn't 100% certain she'd be able to flirt her way out of a situation with a Harvard shirt and dark jeans on. Granted each item flattered her figure, she wasn't showing quite enough skin to flirt openly and get away with what they were about to do. But then again, she was scary when she wanted something. His smile widened a bit when he imagined a rookie police officer dealing with Donna's dramatics. She was quite an actress when she wanted to be.

"Hey," Donna said as she snapped her fingers in front of his face.

Harvey came out of his day dream and looked at her.

"Where'd you go just now?" Donna asked. "Unless it was another one of your fantasies. Then you can keep that to yourself."

"Just imagining you and a Demi Moore tear-off with a rookie police officer if we get caught," Harvey said.

Donna perked up.

"Hopefully it doesn't come to that. Now are you just going to stand there or are we going to toast?" Donna asked as she looked pointedly at the bottle in his hands.

He only shook his head as he dropped the ball in his hands by her bag, twisting the cap clean off the single malt.

\--

He was surprised when she pulled a glove out of her bag. They had been sitting at the pitchers mound for some amount of time. She was still nursing her first finger of scotch. He was on his second, working to the third. She told him she'd be driving him home and the one was all she needed. He was sure the oaky taste upfront was bothering her. After all, it went down smooth and had a fruity nose. It was a contradiction. Much like the man who drank the blend… or used to, anyway.

"Didn't know you played," Harvey said as he watched her grab the ball next to her bag.

"I don't. This is my sister's glove. My mom swore it was mine and packed it in my box of things. Apparently she forgot I wasn't into the whole softball thing. Never got a chance to give it back to my sister, since I rarely make it back home. And when I do I always manage to forget this thing," Donna shrugged.

"And you just happened to have it with you today?" Harvey asked.

"Maybe Ray told me exactly what you were doing," Donna said. "But he said you only had one baseball with you. I count about 15 in that bucket."

"The bucket stays here. That ball was the one my dad first taught me to pitch with," Harvey said as he watched Donna trace the stitching.

"You wanna play?" Donna asked.

"I don't have a glove," Harvey said.

"I'm pretty sure I'm going to throw like those kids in t-ball," Donna said. "Just go around the bases and warm up your arm or something."

"If you're going to catch, you're doing all the bases," Harvey told her in no uncertain terms. He wasn't up to running around tonight.

"Fine," she sighed as she stood up.

She lobbed the ball up in the air and he caught it safely. He watched as she half-jogged to first base.

"M'kay," Donna yelled, hitting her glove and getting into the crouching position she saw from the few baseball games she had been to.

He shook his head and couldn't help the small laugh that escaped his lips.

He lobbed the ball at her, knowing if he was to actually throw like he had at the wood backing, she'd call him an asshole for hurting her. He was mildly surprised when she actually caught it. He didn't miss the grin that appeared on her face. And as much as he didn't want to, a smile appeared on his lips. Her elation at actually catching the ball was infectious, especially when she grinned like that.

"Toss it back and then go to second," Harvey said as he watched her standing on first.

She almost made it back to the pitchers mound without a bounce. But it rolled back down from the small mound and he moved to pick it up as she half-jogged her way over to second.

"I never knew how far away these things were," she said with a huff. Once again, she made a fist and dug it into the leather glove before crouching down again.

"You are aware you look like an idiot, right?" Harvey asked as he lobbed the ball again.

After she caught it, she hit the ball back against her gloved hand.

"I thought this was what the baseball people do?" Donna asked.

"Maybe if you play for the Red Sox," Harvey said.

"Oh," she said as she stood up fully. This time the ball had made it all the way to him. "At least it made you laugh."

"Did not," Harvey called out as she made her way to third base.

"I know all," Donna said. "Don't think I didn't miss that grin."

"You're imagining things," Harvey said.

"Okay," Donna said. Repeating her actions and watching as he shook his head, attempting to hide the small smile.

He lobbed the ball once again and she caught it once more. Instead of throwing it back, she walked back to him, playing catch with herself as she walked the distance from third to the mound.

"Finished?" Harvey asked.

"I don't let every guy get to third base," Donna smirked as his expression turned from surprise to mortification.

"I'm not going to touch that one," he said as he shook his head.

"Throw for real," she said as she grabbed her drink from the ground and tossed him the ball. She raised her eyebrows as he looked at her skeptically.

"I'd do it, but I might not make it to the plate or I'd screw up my arm. And then you'd have to do your own paperwork," Donna said. "I'll let the professional show me."

"Professional?" Harvey said as he tossed the ball back and forth in his hands.

"Oh, I didn't tell you?" Donna said as she took a sip of the single malt. "One time, your dad and I were talking on the phone. I think you might have been in court, so I had nothing to do. So, he asked what my plans were for the weekend. I said I was probably doing your paperwork while you enjoyed your weekend. He suggested I go to one of your baseball games."

"What?" Harvey asked.

"I know your secret, Harvey," Donna smirked as she licked her lips as if she were going to spill a state secret. "I went to that game of yours that weekend. Your dad and I then talked about how you did that next day before I came into work. Asked me if I got any pictures."

"Did you?" Harvey asked.

"Nope. Should have, since its great blackmail. But I was surprised at how good you are, despite the old injury," Donna said.

"How often did you guys talk?" he wondered.

"I don't know," she shrugged. "Every time he called the office and wondered if you were busy. If you were, we would talk. If you weren't, I'd catch him up before I transferred him to you."

Harvey smiled sadly at the thought. She was the last one to talk to him. He probably enjoyed it. After all, his father never stopped talking about the conversations he had with Donna when he was on the phone with him. But apparently they did keep some secrets from him, Harvey thought.

He began to throw the balls at the fence, releasing his emotions that way. He watched her out of the corner of his eye when he picked up balls to throw. She was openly staring at him. Her now empty glass of single malt hugged against her chest. As he looked over at her, 16 balls now scattered behind and beside home plate, he saw no pity, only her own sadness. Sadness for her own loss of a man who loved her like his own daughter. He licked his lips as he felt the tears well up again.

"It's okay," he tried whispering to himself again.

But unlike the office where they each turned around and tried to draw strength in their separate spaces, she moved towards the pitchers mound. She at least had the right mind to carefully place her empty cup next to his before moving towards him. And she caught him before he turned. Their arms seemed to wrap around each other in an automatic motion born out of years of trust. He buried his face into her shoulder, his forehead resting on her shoulder as his arms wrapped around her waist. Her own went around his and he heard her shuttering breath. He was sure she felt his own shuttering breath against the soft cotton of her t-shirt. Neither were sure how long they had been wrapped up in each other like that, but as they pulled back together, she gave him a soft smile.

"I was supposed to be the strong one, you know," she whispered as she dabbed at her eyes with a hand. The other hand was still at the small of his back.

"It's okay," he told her, her eyes still full of unshed tears. "It's okay."

\--

He had eventually decided it was better to open up than to keep it bottled up. After all, she was the only one he trusted, after his father. But now that outlet was gone, and she was the only one left. After gathering the balls once more and putting 15 into the bucket, he placed the bucket back in one of the dugouts. Instead of going to sit somewhere like the bleachers like she thought he would do, he grabbed their tumblers and made his way to the grass.

"First sitting on dirt, now grass? Who knew Harvey Specter liked being a five year old rough and tumble boy outside the office," Donna said as she grabbed her bag and the bottle of scotch as she followed him.

"He first taught me how to catch when I was five," Harvey told her as she sat down next to him.

She handed him the bottle and he poured her a small splash of the amber liquid, adding a finger full to his own.

"With this ball?" she asked as she looked over at the worn ball.

"No, this is the pitching ball. Our catch ball was a softball. I may have been a little uncoordinated," Harvey shrugged as he took a sip of his drink.

"I can't believe I never saw pictures of little Harvey in a t-ball uniform," Donna smirked.

"He would have shown them to you but I told him in no uncertain terms were you to see those pictures," Harvey said.

"You ruined Christmas for me that year, you know. I think he hid all the baby pictures," Donna said.

He in fact, did the opposite. She would always remember the Christmas Harvey first introduced Gordon Specter to Donna Paulsen. She will always remember his small, childhood room, the feeling of familiarity she felt in the warm house. The light in the window as Christmas morning came up over the horizon, the vast record collection lining the walls, the shelves among shelves of books. His smile and the warmth he showed around his father never failed to make her laugh.

"I kept you from showing your true nature the first time you met him. If you had been this sassy the first meeting he would have…" he never finished as she cut him off.

"Loved me," Donna said smiling. "Everyone loves me. Except for maybe Hardman and Monica."

"And maybe that one girl at the bakery by my place who was totally hitting on me and you and my dad walked in and pretended we were getting married," Harvey said.

"Oh, I totally forgot about that," Donna replied. She wouldn't ever forget that. That was one of the highlights of Gordon's visits to the city.

"Liar," Harvey said as he watched her smirk behind her glass.

They both sobered up as they realised the year. It was an odd year, which meant they would have been spending the holidays with his dad over her family. They'd never have another holiday with Harvey's father. Their eyes met and they had a conversation without words once more. They were getting fairly good at this. And neither was sure if this was a good thing or not.

She watched as he drained the rest of the single malt in his glass and leaned back against the grass, looking up at the dark night sky.

"I guess we'll get to see the stars this Christmas," Harvey said as he looked up. The only thing about living in the city was the light pollution. He couldn't see the stars.

Donna tilted her head and watched him carefully. One of his hands tucked underneath his head, the other resting against his abdomen.

"We can skip it all," she told him. "They'll understand."

"My dad liked your family. Despite your idiots of brothers in law," Harvey said as he leaned his head towards her. "I think he'd be pretty miffed if we skipped our tradition."

"I wasn't saying we shouldn't do the tradition," Donna told him. "I was just saying maybe we should just do a duo dinner. A trio if your brother still wants to come here."

Harvey watched as Donna played with the cross stitching again. Her manicured fingers dancing along the faded red as it entwined with the leather.

"You okay?" Harvey asked.

"Me?" Donna asked as she looked over at him.

"Donna," he said with a hint of knowingness in his voice.

"Its not my dad that died, Harvey," she whispered.

"That's not the point," Harvey told her.

Donna looked at for a moment before turning and laying down beside him.

"He's gone," she whispered in the dark. Almost too quiet for him to hear.

The hand that held his head away from the grass moved towards her. The hand that wasn't clutching the baseball was enveloped into his free one. She was sure it was supposed to be the opposite way around. She was supposed to be comforting him. But he liked to handle situations. And right now, her emotions were getting the better of her. Which was a situation he could easily fix with a simple gesture.

\--

He had been watching her play with the ball absentmindedly as they sat next to each other. After debating back and forth in his own mind, he decided he'd let her keep the ball. After he did one thing to it, however.

"Give me a Sharpie," he said as he looked over at her.

Once they moved to the bleachers, he had checked his watch and noticed the sprinklers would be going off soon, she had listened to a story of when he was first signed up for baseball. He had apparently wanted to quit after losing. But his dad had made him stick it out. And his team ended up winning the whole little series. That was his first taste of a win, and he had never looked back.

The only thing she got out of it was he had that same nature at seven as he did today. He still hated to lose. Luckily, their loses were few and far between.

"You sure you know what you're doing?" Donna said. "And how do you know if I have a Sharpie or not?"

"You're basically running a Staples out of your bag," Harvey said. "You don't leave home without one."

She sighed and leaned to dig into her purse as he leaned back against the bleachers.

She came up with her Sharpie and he grinned.

"Gimme your ball," Harvey said.

She hadn't let go of it since they laid out in the grass. He had plenty of balls he and his father shared over the years. Although this one was special to him, Donna wasn't letting go of it anytime soon.

"You're taking it back because I called you a professional?" Donna asked. "I promise I didn't tell anyone about your weekend games."

"Nope, just give it to me," Harvey said.

Donna sighed and reluctantly gave up her ball.

"What are you doing?" she asked as he uncapped the Sharpie.

"Since I'm a professional, you should have proof," Harvey said as he felt her lean against him as he turned away from her.

"You messed up," she said as she pointed.

"Because you leaned against me as I was writing," Harvey said as he presented her the ball.

"I don't know. I think it might be missing something," Donna said as she eyed it critically.

She took the ball from his hand and the Sharpie. But she didn't come out unscathed, he had marked her hand as she tried to reach and snap the Sharpie up. It didn't phase her though as she turned away from him and blocked his view.

She handed the ball back to him and watched the smile grace his lips before disappearing slowly.

"He would have been proud of you, you know," she whispered as she knocked her shoulder with his.

"Would he?" he asked as he curved the ball along his hand. The Sharpie still hadn't dried from what she wrote, so it marked his hands with a slight purple-black.

"You've been the fastest promoted associate Pearson Hardman has ever had," Donna said.

"Because I blackmailed Jessica into doing it for doing her a favour," Harvey countered.

She knew something he didn't know. But she wasn't going to betray her promise to keep it from him. Jessica would tell him and reiterate the fact Gordon Specter would have been proud of his son.

"If I hadn't found the smoking gun, Pearson Hardman wouldn't be standing in five years. You and I would probably be out on the streets, working for some assholes like Smith & Devane," Donna told him. "Don't regret your future promotions you might get because you played dirty, Harvey. Jessica came to you for a reason. She knows what you're like. If she wanted by the book, she could have gone to Zoe or Louis, but she chose you. You ever stop to think about that?"

His silence was his answer and all the confirmation she needed to know he hadn't thought about it that way.

She leaned her elbows against her knees and placed her chin in her hands, looking out at the now empty diamond.

"Thank you," he told her after a few minutes of companionable silence.

"For what?" she asked. She kept staring at the field, willing herself not to turn towards him.

"You know what," he said pointedly.

The smile tugged at the corners of her lips, but she tried her hardest to keep him from seeing them.

"But in case you don't, which I know you know because you're Donna; thank you for being here," Harvey said slowly and quietly.

"Come on," she said as she she gathered her bag in her arms. She capped the half bottle of single malt, sticking it back in her bag, and waited for him to stand.

"Where are we going?" he asked. He still sat down on the bleacher, unwilling to move until she revealed the location.

"We're going to have to get some food in you. You're going to have to buy me some ice cream before I touch another drink of this scotch," Donna told him.

"You haven't touched that in hours. Maybe I should find myself a better secretary. One who doesn't bribe me to do things," Harvey said as he stood.

"Please. Like you could ever do better than me," Donna rolled her eyes at the thought.

"I could do better," Harvey said as he started to walk off towards one end of the street.

"In baseball and at pitching? Sure. Finding someone better to micromanage your life, listen to your private conversations, and find the smoking gun? I'm the best there is," she said as she caught up to him.

"I'm the best pitcher you've ever seen," Harvey scoffed. "I was the all-star pitcher at my high school."

"Until you blew out your shoulder," Donna shrugged.

"I thought you were my number one fan. I even have this handy baseball that says so," Harvey said as he stuck the baseball in her face.

"Give that back. I'm not your number one fan anymore," Donna said as she tried to reach for it.

"Nope. This is going with my other balls," he said as he held it above his head.

She moved in front of him and tried to grab at it as he held it up above her head.

"I think I might even put it in one of those glass cases. Maybe even one of those display things, so when you're pissed at me, you can throw it at me and not have to get the glass dirty," Harvey said as he laughed.

"Asshole," Donna huffed in mock anger and hit him in the chest with a slight slap. She stopped reaching for the ball and continued to her car.

"You still giving me a ride?" Harvey asked as he tossed the baseball up in the air as he walked.

"You're the one paying for the ice cream and the food, so, yes," she shrugged.

As soon as they were in her car and she was on her way to the ice cream shop that was closer to his condo than hers, he asked the one question that had been plaguing him since she had told him his father had died.

"You'll be there?" he asked as he looked down at the ball in his hands. Her script legible and neat compared to his sloppy signature. It was dark inside her car and outside now, but he could still make out the markings on the white leather.

"There's no other place I'd be," she said as she quickly looked over at him before turning back to the road. She had to lighten the mood before it sucked him under again. "After all, your dad did like me more than you."

"He did not," Harvey scoffed in mock hurt.

"We talked about this. We talked all the time on the phone about how much he loves me, and how wonderful I am," Donna said as they slipped from the serious topic to their familiar banter.

Harvey only shook his head. He could imagine his father feeding Donna's ego by telling her how wonderful she is. After all, she seemed to talk to his father more than he talked to him. It was evident by the talk they had at the pitchers mound.

As they reached the city limits, the stoplights started to appear. He didn't realise he had slipped into his own world as Donna drove down the empty side streets in order to reach Manhattan. But at a light that had just turned red, she slipped her fingers over his, curling hers under his as she squeezed lightly. The only telling reaction was his thumb moving to touch her fingers, since he was still looking out the window. She looked over at him and bit her lip. He'd be okay by morning, at least on the outside. At work, he'd be the same Harvey Specter as yesterday. He might even be a little cocky with the announcement of his promotion. But she'd keep him company tonight for as long as he needed her, no matter how tired they would both be in the morning. Because she knew, that if the cards were reversed, he'd do the same thing for her. Because they always had each other's back, no matter what.

**Author's Note:**

> For those waiting for the last chapter of Little Talks, its coming. This little idea wouldn't let go of me until I wrote it. So, I wrote and wrote until I got this final piece.


End file.
